


idiot! moron! jerk! nimrod!

by nihilisum



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Apologies, Confessions, Fights, Friendship, GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Talking, Tears, Third Wheels, Vomiting, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilisum/pseuds/nihilisum
Summary: "now, tell me what's really up.""no."george's willpower dropped with his features as nick turned away. he wouldn't give up that easily though, because george grabbed the younger boy's arm and tugged him back around."just tell me what your problem is and i can help you fix it, nick!"it all happened so fast. suddenly, george was stumbling on his feet, for nick had whirled around, shook his hand from his sleeve and pushed him back by both of his shoulders.he yelled, louder than george had ever heard him in a fight. "the problem is you!"or the one where a lovesick nick confronts george about constantly being the third wheel of their friendship group.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 268





	idiot! moron! jerk! nimrod!

karl wasn't too happy when george slipped out of his seat with not even half of his shot glasses downed, claiming that he had to go due to an emergency, an excuse he struggled to tumble out of his wobbling, liquor-wet lips.

george had ignored his indignant cries, took his jacket from behind him and marched out of the private bar clay had rented out just for him, and hurried into his car.

george wasn't one to drink too heavily, even on his birthday, which is why he didn't find it necessary to leave his car there and walk back home.

the road was clear to him and his head almost just as much, only one thought gnawing at him instead of the alcohol, and that thought concerned his much younger friend and roommate.

nick. he had told the group that he was going to the bathroom, and george had nodded to him, told him to hurry, however it was apparent to him only fifteen minutes later that nick wasn't in the bathroom anymore. 

george would know since they hadn't had taco bell for dinner the night before, and at that point nick hadn't drank enough to need to throw up.

george surveyed the stalls just in case and could only find a couple making out against the sinks. 

he shuffled passed them in disgust and hurried out quickly. he needed to go home to their shared apartment. george couldn't leave nick by himself when he wasn't sure what was going on.

so, he drove home, taking turns with his nerves churning in his stomach and parking his car with his cheeks flushing with heat. 

nick had been acting weird, george had noticed. it was only natural. after all, they were roommates and had been so since nick was only sixteen. 

he had become quieter, spending more time watching his friends rather than joining in. he had been zoning out more, sitting with his earphones in, and the two of them hadn't fought a single time in a week.

the texan hadn't even been petty enough that morning to yell at george for eating his cereal, and george didn't think it was because it was his birthday.

yeah, there was no way nick would spare him just because he had aged another year. there was definitely something up, and george would get to the bottom of it.

"i'm home!" george called idley, the soft click of their apartment door shutting behind him. he took his jacket off, hooked it on the back of the door, pushed his shoes off with his socked feet by the heels, tossed his car keys in the bowl on the counter, and made began to peer around the house.

quiet, an eery quiet, silent if george had not been walking around. 

as much as he complained when nick made their apartment his own stage to rap and sing awfully, not even regarding their piling up noise complaints from the neighbours who had grown to hate them because if nick's indifference, george missed coming home to obscene rap lyrics and his off key singing.

he ruined mariah carey every single christmas. george couldn't walk around a single shop after october without getting flashbacks to nick's terrible cover of "all i want for christmas is you" (he had forgotten to get george a gift and insisted that it was only fair he serenade him instead. george was not happy, and would have preferred nothing at all).

"nick? are you in here?" he said, stepping into nick's bedroom, across from his own, the old keep out sign from his younger teenage years still hanging on for life.

george flicked the lights on and found a nick shaped lump in his bed. the lump didn't move, but george had heard his breathing patterns enough to know he wasn't really sleeping. 

"i know you're awake, idiot," george drawled, standing beside his bed.

"no, you fucking don't, you moron," came the same unimpressed, agitated drawl only special to the two of them, except muffled and deeper than nick's usual tone.

george didn't flinch. actually, his heart softened, strangely enough. nick hadn't insulted him in a long time. the conventions of their friendship were harsh and deviant and strange to most, but george appreciated them nevertheless. 

"what's wrong?"

"what do you mean what's wrong?"

"i mean, why did you leave without telling anyone?"

"is it a fucking crime to not feel like drinking once in a while?"

"nobody told you to drink."

"i don't want to be the only one not drinking and ruin the atmosphere, now do i?"

george scoffed. "bullshit."

the covers immediately rose and out from beneath them emerged an angry looking nick. he lifted himself to his feet, hands clenched and barked, "what did you just say?"

"bull. shit." nick liked to make it out as if george was so much shorter than him. truth was, george was only an inch shorter, despite what nick's driving license said. regardless of the minor difference, petty nick still found pleasure in holding the one inch over him. 

"tommy and toby never drink with us because they can't. nobody has ever thought that they're ruining the atmosphere," george remarked, speaking as if nick was ridiculous for thinking such an excuse would work. "now, tell me what's really up."

nick's glare burned relentlessly at george's own determined face, their noses only an inch away from brushing together. 

if george was being completely honest, he was only the slightest bit weary of getting too brave. could you blame him? he wasn't exactly buff, and the most he did at school was running. nick, on the other hand, had been on the football team and had a larger frame than him. in a physical fight, george would no doubt crumble. 

he stood his ground anyway. they rarely ever got physical, but george knew instances in the past and based hesitancy on that, otherwise, he was there for his best friend, even if it meant a punch straight to the nose.

"no."

george's willpower dropped with his features as nick turned away. he wouldn't give up that easily though, because george grabbed the younger boy's arm and tugged him back around.

"just tell me what your problem is and i can help you fix it, nick!"

it all happened so fast. suddenly, george was stumbling on his feet, for nick had whirled around, shook his hand from his sleeve and pushed him back by both of his shoulders.

he yelled, louder than george had ever heard him in a fight. "the problem is you!"

george blinked, and began mulling through his memories of that week to try and figure out if he had done anything to upset nick. 

"and the only way you can fix it is by pissing off!" he continued, his voice lowering into a growl as george caught the pearls of tears collecting around his eyes.

george shook his head, his mind spinning with confusion.

"nick, what are you– what are you talking about? i– i don't know what i've done..." george hadn't drunk a whole lot, but suddenly an overwhelming feeling in his stomach started boiling. he couldn't speak properly, his lips trembling, and the world was starting to topple on its sides. this was all happening too fast for george. "is– is this about the cereal...?"

"no, it's not about the cereal, you moron! that shit went out days ago!"

"sorry? and you just watched me eat it?!"

nick sneered and brought a hand up to rub at his neck, blinking away his tears. "yeah. i did." 

george stared in disbelief at his immaturity before shaking his head once more, wishing to focus on the issue at hand, and making a mental note to throw that box of horrid lucky charms away. he should have known. they did have a weirdly tangy taste to them.

"i don't understand. what have i done to you?"

"why did you have to come here? why did you have to come and interfere? me and clay were fine, we were fine without you! why did you have to join and– and– and _force me out?!_ "

george's heart started sinking in his chest as nick spat his truths out as if he were free with drunkenness. every word was a shot at the heart, the kinds that whizzed from cupid's bow of hate and resentment and all things opposing love.

"what the hell is so good about you that isn't in me?!" 

the tears were rolling now, nick's face scarred with the red of his fury. 

"why does clay like you so fucking much?!" 

he lifted his hands and shoved at george again, stepping forward as he stumbled back. 

"he's _my_ best friend...! _i_ met him first...! so–...! so–!" george watched in horror as nick started sobbing wholeheartedly, his knees woblibling until he dropped, his shoulders shaking, and his chest heaving concerningly quickly. "why the hell–! am i not _good enough for him?!_ " 

george's body was frozen even though he urged his limbs to move. he wanted to dive forward and take the shaking boy into his arms, wanted to place his head in his shoulder, wanted to draw soothing patterns in his back, wanted to help him breathe, wanted to look for five things he could see, hear, and feel with him. but all george could do was witness his tears and count them.

he missed nick's soft breathing he had committed to memory when they talked into the night. he missed feeling it behind his ear when nick crawled into his bed when he thought he was sleeping.

"nick," george said softly, forcing himself to drop to his knees too and inch forward.

with his trembling hands clenching at the sleeves of his sweater, he mumbled into them, sharp gasps of breath interrupting between. "why...! am i...! the third wheel...?! why... am i always left behind...?!"

"nick!" george repeated firmly, getting a hold of himself completely and taking the texan's wrists in his hands. "you're going to pass out if you don't try to breathe properly," he said urgently yet with a gentle, compassionate tone.

nick didn't resist and complied, which george was thankful for. 

"what would you know?" he whimpered however. "it's always george this... george that," he continued, his voice and breath shuddering, though much less intense than before. 

what nick said next was what george was least expecting, in the most heartbroken, hurt, pained voice george had ever heard him speak with ever since the two of them watched toy story 3 together for the first time. george froze completely once more, nick's hands still shaking in his hold, and felt a surge of something in his stomach, something strangely tangy and fruity and bitter.

"why did i even bother? clay doesn't love me like i love him. clay doesn't love me like he loves you...!"

tangy... fruity... bitter...

the curling in his stomach got tighter and tighter, until, in another instant faster than either boys could comprehend, george was on his feet and dashing to the bathroom. 

"george!" the british man heard nick call in alarm, before he was hunched over the toilet bowl and throwing his brains up. 

karma had its kiss for him. george swore he would never touch nick's cereal ever again.

the pitter patter of frantic feet sounded behind him until george felt warmth at his side.

he glanced up and found nick staring at him in concern, his lips parted to speak, though not getting the chance to at all as another round of throw up echoed against the bathroom tiles. 

george groaned in pain as his throat burned with the few shots he had managed to tip back at the bar. he spat out the last chunks of vomit that floated at the back of his throat, his face twisting in disgust as it slid down the toilet bowl.

"george! i thought you didn't drink that much!" nick exclaimed, his voice scratchy from his meltdown.

george stared at nick, stunned. "well, maybe you shouldn't have let me eat off cereal, _jerk_!" he drawled sarcastically, his voice scratchy from his gagging.

nick's nose scrunched up and he sniffled harshly. "only _nimrods_ eat shit without checking the date," he mumbled, looking away stubbornly yet continuing the ministrations of his hand on george's back, rubbing up and down firmly. 

george let his head spin back into place, sitting back away from the lid of the toilet and his lurking sick. 

a quietness fell over them, one less tense and eery than before, rather more content with how everything that needed to be spilled had done so, from words to outdated lucky charms. 

the elephant in their apartment had trotted off, leaving empty space that needed to be fulfilled by the both of them.

"wait a minute," nick scoffed. "you shouldn't be eating my cereal anyway!"

george simply glared at him, bringing the back of his hand up to wipe the sick dripping down the corner of his mouth. "i don't think that's our biggest concern right now."

"it should be," nick remarked in a snarky tone, sniffling again. "you know, you're one strike away from that maid outfit."

nick shot his head up again. "what? no, you're wrong! i have _one strike_ – not doing the washing up that one time!"

"nuh-uh!" nick glared back. "strike one, yeah, from not doing the dishes, and _strike two_! from walking in front of the tv while i was watching the walking dead!"

"you're kidding me," deadpanned george, not at all impressed with how severe nick was making his supposed offence.

nick blinked, head shaking from disbelief. "are you calling the roommate agreement a joke, george? i think that calls for another strike," he snapped, the hand pausing finally.

"no, it doesn't! i'm calling _you_ a joke!" george cried with a long, tired sigh, standing up, closing the toilet lid, and flushing his sick away.

the roommate agreement was coined by their much more mature, older, and responsible friend named darryl, whom they both met through clay. he had heard the two of them were fighting far too much than any normal pair of roommates when they first started living together, and decided to write up a document of agreement both boys would have to abide to, to lessen the amount of times they were at each other's necks. the strike system came in three strikes. three strikes and the perpetrator would have to do time for their crimes, whether it be eating a concerningly hot chilli or dressing up in a humiliating maid outfit.

george swore nick was being ridiculous, again. there was no way he deserved a strike for simply walking in front of the television.

the older male gargled his mouth out and brushed his teeth at the bathroom sink, and the younger washed his face at the kitchen one, the grill lit at the opposite side of it with two cheese sandwiches turning a pleasant shade of orangey yellow for the both of them.

"i'm sorry."

"it's not what you think."

nick and george turned to each other as their voices intertwined. they were sat at the island stools beside each other, plates of half eaten grilled cheese before them.

"i'll go first," george said.

"what?" nick snapped, and george looked up again, noticing the crumbs stuck in his light beard. "why do you get to go first?"

george's inquisition settled. why he questioned the boy, he didn't know. there was no end to his childishness. 

"because i'm older, obviously," he drawled.

"yeah," nick said, unconvinced. "so?" 

"what do you mean, so?" said george mockingly. "i got into this world first, that means i get to do everything else first."

nick didn't seem to have a defence for that logic, even if he thought long and hard for one, so george smirked and took the spotlight.

"like i was saying," he hummed. "it's really not what you think, okay? dream doesn't love me the way you love him. what? why are you looking at me like? i'm being serious! he loves you way more!"

"no, he doesn't!" nick cried, face drawn as if what george claimed was blasphemy. "you were right. you were right when you said clay got tired of me, and replaced me with you," he trailed off quietly, picking at the flakes of his grilled cheese.

"no, i wasn't right, you idiot!" george cried, his head hurting from all the misunderstanding. "clay loves you! romantically! he told me!"

nick's face dropped, teetering from belief to confusion. "he did?"

"yes! oh my god, you two are such _dumbarses_!" whined george, bringing his fingers up to massage his forehead. "clay didn't think you would ever like him so he just– i don't know, naturally projected his feelings he thought were unrequited onto me, but they aren't real for me; they're real for you!"

"what?! but–! but that's what i've been doing with karl!" 

george outright facepalmed while nick's face sparked up with fireworks.

"well that's why you've been feeling more and more like a third wheel! because clay noticed how friendly you were getting with karl and had to up his game with his feelings for you!"

"clay likes me?!"

"yes!" george exclaimed, the fatigue very much clear in his voice. "dumbarses! you're dumbarses!"

" _dumbarses_ ," nick mocked, british accent and all, until he broke into an idiotic grin, bigger than george had ever seen it. "george! george! clay likes me! _loves_ me! wants to make out in his bed and–! _MMF!_ "

"going to have to stop you there," george said dryly. he had shoved the remains of nick's grilled cheese into his mouth, not keen on hearing the details of nick's apparent fantasies.

he sighed and lifted himself from the stool. he finished the last of his sandwich, placed his plate in the sink, washed his hands, and glanced at nick, who he found staring dreamily at his own meal.

"nick," george called, slightly uncomfortable with the sexual tension between his roommate and the toasted breadu. "do not start eating out that grilled cheese thinking it's clay."

nick devoured the grilled cheese, george cringing very visibly as the younger licked each of his fingers. he hopped out himself and placed his plate in too.

"wash your hands," george said strictly, rolling his eyes as nick did so and hummed. normally, he would yell back at how he was going to and he didn't need to be told, which really wasn't the case at all.

once nick was done, he flicked the lights off, grabbed george by the hand, and tugged them back to his bedroom.

"hold on a minute, why are you taking me into your bedroom?" george cried in alarm, tugging at his restrained hand.

"we're going to talk all night, that's why! about clay! and me! and everything!"

george looked horrified as he was shoved down to sit on nick's bed. no... _no. no, no, no!_ he had settled with being an outlet for clay because clay was clay. clay wasn't annoying and whiny and childish and stupid. george didn't feel like he was losing brain cells when talking to clay. 

all night? all night listening to nick froth at the mouth for their best friend? listening to nick's disgusting fantasies because george knew he had a mind perverted enough for such things? nick? annoying, whiny, childish, stupid nick?

"strip, george. now."

before george could voice his disgust at the choice of words, a set of night time clothes hit him in the face, and he found himself holding one of nick's college sweaters.

he did as he was told, and nick did the same. soon, the lights were dimmed, the fairy lights above nick's bed were flicked on, and george found himself pinned to the mattress by nick's football body.

"i'm getting some awful deja vu," deadpanned george, eyes wondering boredly at the sticky stars on the ceiling.

"why?" 

"you know, if you had told me you liked clay a while ago, you would be dating him already," george mumbled, bringing his arms up to wrap his arms around nick, the material of his t shirt shifting as he gripped his fingers onto his body. "clay would pin me down too, and talk about how cute you looked in your white sweatshirt that day, or that orange t shirt of yours, or how your fringe had an extra bit of curl in it than usual that made it look even more soft." george spoke as if he felt sick to his stomach again, but deep down, his heart was soft and rosy and wrapped in cotton. he was very happy for his friends.

nick lifted himself up like a giant eager puppy, his forearms caging george's head. "he thinks i'm cute?" his once teary eyes were bright. george liked them better that way.

"can't imagine why." george couldn't stop himself from smiling. clay was right after all. he was cute, as stupid as his big, wide giddy grin was.

they settled again. nick talked and talked, and george listened. something about clay's eyes, and clay's freckles, and how nick had wanted to feel them under his thumbs since they were kids. another thing about clay's hair, _how his man bun was super freakin' sexy_ (george held in another round of sick), and another about clay's laugh (what was endearing about that? george wrinkled his nose in disgust. did nick have a fetish for kettles?).

soon, nick found his lips at a loss for more about clay, surprisingly. they just laid there in each other's arms, softly breathing, legs intertwined and brushing together with every small movement, and heartbeats pressed together.

"george? you awake? wake up, idiot, i got somethin' to say to you!" nick hissed quietly without rising.

"i'm awake, you moron," george murmured tiredly.

george felt nick's smile.

"the things that i said... they were selfish, and childish, and far from true!" nick said quietly, his vulnerability and unease easy to read by george, and his breath nice to feel against his skin. "i was just toxicly jealous... i really don't feel that way about you, and i'm sorry i was so mean."

he leaned up then and pouted down at him. "do you forgive me, go-gy?" he mumbled, voice soft and guilty, like a puppy who knew he had been naughty.

george feigned disinterest and rolled his eyes. "yes, i forgive you. i didn't believe all of that for a second anyway. you're way too clingy to want me to never be in your life," he scoffed.

nick smiled and settled again. george's eyes fluttered closed as he felt his digits digging through his hair and into his scalp.

"you're so good to me, go-gy," nick mumbled lovingly. "came back for me, even though it's your birthday, and– and you were ready to comfort me, even though i said those horrible things... i don't know what i'd do without you, go-g..." he finished his thoughtful mumbling with a soft yawn, and it was like a kitten was licking against george's ear. 

he said through another yawn, before sleep took over him and enveloped him into his dream realm of what george could only imagine as all things clay, "i love you, you jerk..."

george yawned too, and fell asleep with his best frenemy in his arms after mumbling back, "i love you too, nimrod..."

they were attached to each other by their angrily signed roommate agreement and by their hands around each other's necks, but sometimes they found themselves holding each other lovingly, breathing ghosts of kisses against sensitive skin and mumbling their crude nicknames as terms of endearment.

george loved those moments the best.

**Author's Note:**

> haven't written anything in a hot minute, yikes !!! D: 
> 
> i changed my name again (oops, from jardindefaerie) but i think i will stay as nihilisum now. but hi!! my name is summer, or sum, i'm 16, and from the uk !! hi!!! :] 
> 
> i got sick and tired of the resentment i kept feeling when i found a good dreamnap or georgenap fanfiction and m/m/m and threesome and polyamory and DREAM was attached to it !!! goddammit im sick of these threesome fanfictions !!! so i wrote a georgenap friendship fic with hints of dreamnap cos i couldn't help myself 👉👈
> 
> i might do a second chapter where dreamnap actually get together but im not sure. depends how well it goes as a oneshot.
> 
> but hope u enjoy this !!! kudos & comments pls 🥺👉👈 ALSO ALSO skirtnap is coming soon i promiiiiise


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